We have entered that dangerous territory where
the two oldest children have admitted that the fairy dust has cleared
and that they no longer "believe".
Santa Claus? Easter Bunny? Tooth Fairy?
Not buying it anymore.
Our kids are pretty naive and we have had a pretty good run.
I have only forgotten the nudge the tooth fairy once
in the grand scheme of about 24 lost teeth.
The tooth fairy really needs to use the alarm on her smart phone
a little bit more.
So far, not a single one of them has taken me up on my offer of wrapping it in thread,
attaching it to the door handle and slamming the door shut
but I am secretly happy about that.
In spite of the annual grumblings from Mr Boozle about how hard it is
to sneak Christmas stocking onto the ends of beds
when they are laden with bells*,
we have never had to use our
"Just helping Santa out. He had to run- Rudolph was being a pain in the you-know-what" speech.
*It was cute when I was making them
and I will admit that I am into aesthetics rather than practicalities.
That's probably why we make a good team,
in those moments where we aren't exceedingly frustrated with each other.
I could have probably come up with some better explanations about
why the tooth fairy pays a different dividend to other kids.
The socioeconomic rationale didn't really sit well with the five year old.
Near the end of last year, the 9 and 11 year old offspring
admitted to their dad that they were no longer believers.
The oldest said that he lost a tooth at school
and didn't tell us.
The tooth fairy didn't come.
He told us the next day that he had lost a tooth and, lo and behold,
the tooth fairy dropped by that night.
Ergo tooth fairy = parents
(actually tooth fairy = mummy.
Credit where credit is due.)
Too bloody smart for his own good, I say.
Who needs to deal with that logic when you are trying to parent?
Like all good parents,
we gave them the "Do the right thing and don't spoil it for your sister" chat.
The "If you don't believe, you don't receive"" spiel.
It was so far, so good... until this morning.
The constant tit for tat between the youngest two escalated this morning and
the middle child decided to tell his little sister that
none of them were real.
She is luckily easily persuaded to believe what she wants
and, when talking to her about dicey topics, she can be easily distrac...oh, look, a rainbow.
Somewhat surprisingly, her oldest brother then saved the day when he contributed this pearl of wisdom:
Hey. They are like God. They rely on faith. They exist if you believe in them.
If you look up one of those books about birth order personality characteristics,
my kids' names would be right there in print.
I know the most Prime Ministers were first born children.
But I wonder if the most frequent child cut from their parents' wills
for being little s*$ts were middle kids.