Definition: Holiday Fail

noun

1. the act of one parent taking 3 children away for a 10 day

holiday to their grandparents

and have multiple cases of gastroenteritis for the first half of the holiday

and one severe case of an upper respiratory tract infection for the second half of the holiday.

2. any variation on this theme.

Related words:

regret, toilet paper, contagious, fever, chills,

exhaustion, thanks be to drugs, ear pain on planes,

where the heck is my husband?

Example of use:

Bloody hell. Sick kids. Sick parent. Really sick grandparents. That sucked.
That sure was a holiday fail if I ever saw one.

Footnote:

In the interests of trying to be a half glass full kind of gal,

I will say that I am glad that the kids seem to have been spared what I am currently fighting
(touch wood)

and  I am relieved that 2 plane flights with sore ears weren't a lot worse.

How sick am I, did I hear you ask?

I am so sick that I have been going to bed at 9 pm.
...don't think I have done that since I was 10 years old.

I am sooo sick that I can't drink coffee.
Yeah, I know. Like, caffeine withdrawal really helps with headaches. Not.

I am sooooo sick that I stopped knitting.
Speechless.

I am sooooooo sick that when a sympathetic husband

jokingly lamented the lack of homecoming nooky

due to my poor state of health,

I wanted to seize his testicles in my hands and crush them with whatever remaining strength I could muster.
He's just lucky that I was too weak to roll over to find them.

I am now armed with plenty of chicken noodle soup,

electronic babysitters, paracetamol and antibiotics

and my own bed

so am hoping for a quick recovery from here on in.