The other milestones.

I still remember,

especially as a first time mum,

carefully ticking off those milestones

as bub grew up.

...the age when that first tooth;

when was the first smile?

...those first steps,

that first word...

You couldn't get away from those checklists

proclaiming what age range your (average) child would be in

when he or she first looked at you and gave your one of those gorgeous baby dimpled smiles.

After the past couple of weeks of dealing with more-difficult-than-usual-and-that-is-saying-something kids,

those bubs all growing up so quickly,

all those lists seem to have disappeared.

You couldn't escape them when you were insecure and vulnerable

and wondering why your child wasn't walking yet
when all those glossy flyers said that he should be.

But now I want to know

when my child will stop lying.

When he will realise that stealing is not on.

When he or she works out that the reason that we say "no biting/punching/pinching/pushing"

is because there will be consequences.

When he will share.
When she will do the right thing because it is the right thing to do.
When he will develop empathy.

When he will be appreciative of all that he has
and not worry about all that he hasn't.
When she will realise that please, thank you and sorry
will get her further in life than any other words.

When he or she realises that screaming uncontrollably for 2 hours is not acceptable behaviour.

I am not sure about the normal ages for these milestones
but I do know when he or she will realise just how
worrisome, heart-wrenching and hurtful
these behaviours can be to a parent.

I reckon it will be the very instant that he becomes a parent himself.