Friday, June 8, 2012

The other milestones.

I still remember,
especially as a first time mum,
carefully ticking off those milestones
as bub grew up.

...the age when that first tooth;
when was the first smile?
...those first steps,
that first word...

You couldn't get away from those checklists
proclaiming what age range your (average) child would be in
when he or she first looked at you and gave your one of those gorgeous baby dimpled smiles.

After the past couple of weeks of dealing with more-difficult-than-usual-and-that-is-saying-something kids,
those bubs all growing up so quickly,
all those lists seem to have disappeared.

You couldn't escape them when you were insecure and vulnerable
and wondering why your child wasn't walking yet
when all those glossy flyers said that he should be.

But now I want to know
when my child will stop lying.
When he will realise that stealing is not on.
When he or she works out that the reason that we say "no biting/punching/pinching/pushing"
is because there will be consequences.
When he will share.
When she will do the right thing because it is the right thing to do.
When he will develop empathy.
When he will be appreciative of all that he has
and not worry about all that he hasn't.
When she will realise that please, thank you and sorry
will get her further in life than any other words.
When he or she realises that screaming uncontrollably for 2 hours is not acceptable behaviour.
I am not sure about the normal ages for these milestones
but I do know when he or she will realise just how
worrisome, heart-wrenching and hurtful
these behaviours can be to a parent.

I reckon it will be the very instant that he becomes a parent himself.

4 comments:

Clodagh a.k.a. Isra said...

OMG you are living my life!!! L is about to turn 9 and it's been non stop attitude yelling, arguments, etc with me and his sister. Suddenly I find myself in despair wondering where can I run to, why are my kids like this, what did I do wrong ... And I get upset that the 4 year old thinks tantrums are the norm and now his 18 month old brother likes to copy his behavior. It's exhausting, I turn to food, I'm now heavier than I have eer been and see no end in sight. I realize if I do t get myself back on track there is no way ican cope with their behavior. Hang in there sweetie, you are not alone and I guess like other phases this too will pass with time ;-) xxxxxx

Nikki said...

Sending you telepathic quiet corners to sit and knit.... and hope that your kids pass those milestones sooner than you expect.

Nikki said...

...also dreading my own child's journey through the various behaviours. We currently have not listening and being a pedantic little monster. Oh-so-much to look forward to.... :/

Sally said...

We've been having a rough time of it here too. I'm reading what ever I can get my hands on to help me nut it out, question and second guessing everything I do and say, and hanging on to any sweetness hoping that it is the first sign of turning a corner.