Use it or Lose it.

(cartoonstock.com)



For over 8 years now,

I have been pregnant, breastfeeding or parenting young children.

All of which add up to a certain amount of chronic sleep deprivation,

unless (and maybe even in spite of finding that) you follow your children to bed at 7pm.

I pride myself on surviving with minimal sleep.

I am not a good sleeper anyway

but evenings are "my" time

and, however tired I am at 4pm,

by 9pm I am ready to party.

Well, at least sit up, read, sew or watch a late movie.

But I suspect it is taking its toll.

I am developing into a grumpy mummy

and can rarely shake my initial reactions

to silence any offspring's louder noises

and to spend my days getting the kids to clean up their messes

or correct their manners

or the way that they eat

or dress

or

or

or.

(lovereading4kids.co.uk)

My mind and memory are nowhere near as sharp

as they were when I was a working professional 9 years ago.

Yes, I am older.

Yes, as an at-home mum, I am doing a lot more duties that don't require me

to exercise my little brain cells.

But for a year or so,

 I have joked to my husband

that I am either losing it

or that he was delibarately hiding things to drive me bonkers.

But now that I have read "Still Alice",

I don't think I will make that joke anymore.

"Still Alice" by Lisa Genova

is about a 51 year old professor who develops early onset Alzheimer's Disease.

It is a work of fiction

but deals with raw facts.

It is heart breaking, absorbing

and it is like watching a train wreck unfold without being able to look away.

You know that there is no cure for Alzheimer's

and you know that there will be no happy ending.

It is one of those books that sits on the bedside table

with "The Kite Runner".

You want to read it but you are just not. ever. in. the. right. mood.

for that sort of book.

A bit like watching Schindler's List

or any movie about the Titanic.

I still have "Hotel Rwanda" in the DVD cupboard

because I hear that it is a brilliant movie

but knowing the content, I haven't pulled it out to watch since I got it 5 years ago.

I defy you to read this book without at least one good cry

and a little sad smile here and there.

There are a couple of laugh out loud moments

but you almost feel ashamed to be doing so.

You will read this till finished,

you will put it back on the bookshelf

and you will go and embrace your daily grind, your families and this precious thing that is life.

For a little while, at least, you wont take anything for granted.

And, like me, you will get a little bit antsy when you can't remember where you put those keys again today

or can't find the word in your brain that you are looking for.

And, perhaps, like me, you will try to get to bed a bit earlier each night

-and try to get your brain and body moving a bit more each day.

(my.opera.com)

You will also come out the other side with a much better understanding

of how victims of dementia feel
and what they go through.

That, at least, is a good outcome from reading such an emotional rollercoaster of a book.