Mr Boozle turns 41 this week.
For the first time, I think ever,
in our almost 22 years together,
I have nothing.
Not a little something set aside.
Not an idea.
Not one thing.
Zilch.
What do you buy a turning-41 year old veterinarian
who can whip up a mean paella and sushi,
has the occasional long stray eyebrow hair
and has a passion for bike riding?
Mary suggested a knitted willy warmer.
At the moment, I may just be desperate enough to whip one up...
I have never yet resorted to socks and jocks.
but I think a knitted willy warmer would not strictly speaking fall into this category.
...and after all, he does complain on those cold winter mornings
that his testicles have retreated so far up that he might never see them again.
There would be the issue of measuring up.
Sizes as you can see are only in Large, Extra large and humungous.
(do you think that this pattern was written by a man?)
When is the best time to measure?
Before or after a very cold ride?
What room for...fluctuation is there?
And 3 inches is large, isn't it? (That's what I've been told)
...and after all, he does complain on those cold winter mornings
that his testicles have retreated so far up that he might never see them again.
There would be the issue of measuring up.
Sizes as you can see are only in Large, Extra large and humungous.
(do you think that this pattern was written by a man?)
When is the best time to measure?
Before or after a very cold ride?
What room for...fluctuation is there?
And 3 inches is large, isn't it? (That's what I've been told)
Anyone got any ideas?
Or will anyone (obviously my male readers)
admit to having worn a willy warmer
admit to having worn a willy warmer
and having an opinion?
Or know someone who has?
I think Mr Boozle will thank you from the bottom of his heart
(which is about the same location as his freezing testicles apparently)
if you can offer something which protects his pink bits
from possible carpet rash or claustrophobia.
8 comments:
Tas you're a classic! Good luck finding a gift. Your stats could get interesting too with the "testicle" searching crowd arriving any day now. :)
Well. Aren't you in a big pickle? All the very best of luck with the essential willy warming. x
Gosh, you're a cack. No idea on the present front, but I would love to see the stats too.
You couldn't just do a book voucher, could you...? :)
wouldnt the wool stretch with movement?
I think that sort of gift might be a good gift- might be hard to explain to your MIL all the pieces of woolly creations that you want that de-piller for.
I just bought my 41 year old a remote contolled holicopter. It takes movies from up there and all. He loves it. x
At risk of incriminating myself further I think I'm just gonna shut up now (as I sneak off to investigate the stash as maybe even cast something on....)
Will he be modeling the willy-warmer for the blog? And yes, in my professional opinion, I think 3 (slack) inches would probably be a large. (I'm a urology nurse, not a prostitute by the way).
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