Monday, January 23, 2012

Fairy Tales

What magical beings do you have at your house?

At our house it's a fairy.
Not a useful fairy.
Not an invisible presence who cleans the loo,
does the washing and ironing
and cooks tomorrow's dinner while we sleep.

No, our fairy is a right royal pain in the you-know-where.
She is the one who makes a mess,
spreading out pieces of a 1000 piece puzzle across the middle of the loungeroom.
She hides mobile phones in boxes so that we can't find them.
She writes on the walls in texta.
She leaves empty toilet rolls on the holder and the toilet seat up.
She grinds plasticine into the carpet.
She breaks toys and rips pages out of books.

All those things that you think your kids have done
but no, cue poker faces: "it wasn't us, mum"

But, since Christmas,
her company to moved to a new level of unpleasantness.

Now she frequently wees on the bathroom floor.

And apparently she farts in mixed company.
 (and, in spite of what you might think,
fairy farts are not pleasant, let me tell you)

Anyone know any magical spells that might help exorcise a smelly fairy?


Mary said...

I reckon her sister lives here. I'm really really hoping she will go off to school next week.

H said...

When I was growing up we had a magical Mrs Gooseberry who did all those things too, but her most unpleasant annoyance was that she would occupy the toilet the moment you really, really, needed to go!
We played a little game, pretending to be Mrs Gooseberry (whoever was in the loo) at least it distracted the poor person waiting unti they got their chance. We had 1 loo between 9 in the family, so patience and a strong bladder were essential!

Dani Castley said...

For many years, the bane of my life was two little munchkins .... called "Not me" and "I don't know". Thankfully it seemed these two have settled down with their annoying stuff, so maybe things might settle. I can only hope.