I'm Ho Ho hopeless!

It's that time of year again.

You know, the time where you don't have to fill that occasional obligation to craft with your kids.

The one where there is a whole stack of them that you find yourself committed to.

After the kids have brought home their macaroni'd Christmas tree decorations

and their self portrait Christmas card with lots of glitter and sparkly stuff glued on with a litre of glue

(and still not dry 3 days later),

they have worked themselves into a frenzy with love of crafting.

And given the time of year,

there is no shortage of festive crafty projects to "sure to be enjoyed with your children for hours of endless joy and entertainment for the whole family".

So far this year,

I have committed to making biscuits,

window glass painting decorations,

making finger buns,

decorating a gingerbread house

and oldest son is talking about some weird green gooey gunk stuff you can make that he found in a magazine.

It may not seem like a lot

but with 3 kids and 7 days to complete them,

it seems like a lot to me.

A whole world of pain.

Let me be clear.

I think that I am a dab hand at crafty stuff.

(yes, pure arrogance, that statement)

Sewing, knitting, crocheting, other craft stuff.

Bring it on, baby.

But having to teach someone else,

whether they are my age, on an aged pension or at kindergarten...

well, at least I am mature enough to recognise my limitations.

Firstly I suck at teaching.

I do not explain things well.

Actually, let me clarify that.

It appears that I do not explain things well

to people who think like my husband.

If you think like me, it's all good.

Secondly I have no patience.

(and on some days, I mean literally no patience)

I might have had some years ago but not now.

While my child is delicately and painstakingly (to me painfully) putting the finishing touches

on his or her cotton wool ball snowman,

I just want to rip the glue stick away from those little hands and finish it yesterday.

Thirdly I am a perfectionist.

And I am sorry,

but I can state with confidence

(actually probably arrogance again)

that no-one in this house

(hubby included)

(well, hubby in particular actually)

can colour co-ordinate like me,

draw in a straight line or a nice curve like me

or stick that pipe cleaner onto the toilet roll in just the right place at just the right angle

as well as I can.

And it bugs me watching other people not do it just how it should be done.

About now, I am meant to put in the big "but",

you know, the "but" which makes it all worthwhile...

"But to see the fun that my kids are having..."

"But to see the product of their innocent creativity..."

"But to spend that quality time with my children..."

Realistically,

about now,

I am wondering if that paint will come off whichever skin, clothing or furnishing it has been deposited on,

I am reaching for headache medication

and I am wondering if it is too early in the day to make a gin, lemon and lime.

A really, really strong one.

Maybe tomorrow (or after a gin or two) there will be the "but".