Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Heart failure.


So tell me this?

If the sight of my slumped four year old,
sadly, oh so sadly, waiting for her late arriving mother
on her "Special Person's Morning Tea"
while everyone else's Special Person had turned up on time,
breaks my heart just a little bit,

how the heck am I expected to cope with
the first time her heart gets really broken by a boy?

...When she works out that not all people are nice to you
and the world is not always a nice place
and that even cute animals die in the name of the food chain?

...When she tells me that she hates me for the first time?

Life was so much easier when a Wiggles bandaid fixed the bruises.

(It also has to be said,
she has every right to feel gypped that her mum,
who she spends all her free time with,
was the best example of a Special Person that we could put together
with rellies so far away).
On the upside,
my tardiness was due to finding some completed homework
forgotten at the back door
and taking it to my eldest at school
so that he wouldn't get in to trouble.

So I still get a smiley stamp for today.
Just not a gold star.


Kate said...

It makes me feel sick all that broken hearted, people no always nice, death stuff. We are embarking on some difficult times with the pre adolescent. Frightening.
Be strong.

Tanya said...

take heart, I often think, my parents weren't perfect, I had massive rows with my mother and I reckon I turned out alright! Having said that, I am not negating you fears, I share them.

Sarah said...

Oh wow. You're not the only one. I remember reading a quote somewhere about how when you become a mother you wear your heart on the outside. It's true - we'd happily take all their hurts on board to protect them from the sad, frightening stuff, wouldn't we?

and I'm sure she doesn't feel gypped by having you as her special person :)

Tin Can Daisy said...

I think it's totally and utterly gorgeous that you're her special person. Lucky you.

Anonymous said...

hugs,this parenting gig is hard.

monART said...

ahw you write so beautifully. How I would love to have band aid fixes to for me including :) Just went today through a talk with my 10yo trying to show her how to find yourself and doing the right thing. How to explain being true to yourself if one is still on the adventure of finding who you are. Mmm it is the sweet moments that puts a lot of things in perspective.

Sally said...

It is all just so complicated this parenting gig and what is okay with one doesn't necessarily fit the other... I have resigned myself to a life of confusion, bewilderment and just not knowing.

Melanie Gray Augustin said...

Oh my heart breaks just thinking about when my little one is going to have to face those things in life.

You still get a gold star from me.