What's in a name?

What indeed.

(contmediausa.com)



When your little ones start to communicate,

it becomes necessary to start giving things names.

Labels.

Words that they can recognise and understand

and eventually verbalise themselves.

Milk, flower, car, banana, tree.

You know what I mean.

But this process of course includes body parts.

I am finding that there is a big component of family influence here.

I grew up with a "fanny".

Well, I am grown up now but I think I still have one.

It was there the last time I looked.

One friend thinks fanny is a dirty word.

Another, a doctor, thinks that the correct words for the correct anatomy

right from a young age is the way to go.

So her daughters don't have fannies.

They have vulvas.

And vaginas.

While I am comfortable with fanny,

I was an adult before I recognised that the Americans

use the word "fanny" for bottom.

You can imagine my shock to hear someone demand that you

"get your fanny moving"

and geeze, I did not want to know what a fanny pack was used for.

(Mind you, the Americans also seem to use the word "panties"

I am an undies girl.

Panties to me conjures up porn images

or at least a MA rating)

Boys bits are easier.

Willy is a nice word

given the options available.

But somehow my boys already know to use the word penis

the same way they use the word bum or fart.

Whatever you may think of these words,

I think that they are infinitely more functional and socially acceptable

if you have a young kid on the other side of the fruit and veg section at the supermarket

who is capable of yelling out

"Mummy, Bertie just pulled out his pink bits"

And our house is a boob household.

I think of this word as the equivalent to breast

in the same way that bonk is a light hearted version of

many, many other less attractive words.

"Mummy's boobies" is good.

Before you pass judgement on this, consider your options.

Would you prefer mummy's twangers?

Her air bags,

cajungas,

whammies,

puppies,

sweater kittens,
chesticles,
David and Goliath,

winnebagos,

crowd pleasers,
devil's dumplings,

magic mountains

or perhaps bodacious ta-tas...

Personally I am going to stick with boobs.

It could be oh, so much worse...

(Footnote: I did have to google to find some of those breast words.

Given the moderate content of this blog,

there were a heck of a lot that didn't make the list.

And I didn't even dare google penis.

I learnt enough hideous variations at Uni.

I hate to think what is out there now...)