Thursday, August 4, 2011

Get a grip on reality. Pretty please.

Dear people-who-make-animal-documentaries-with-cutting-edge-photography,

You don't know me but I am a woose.  A sooky-la-la.

I am the person you find rescuing water-logged snails and worms after the rain
and taking them to the safety of higher, dry land.

I am that person apologising to each and every ant that she has to spray
when her kitchen gets an infestation of (innocent, hard-working and generally all round good guy)
ants invading.


I am the person who choses to believe that Old Yeller
went off to Grandpa's farm.

I am the person who rescues any spider that needs to be located from indoors to outdoors.

Well, OK, I am the person who hands the jar to her hubby and says "bloke's job"

(disclaimer- any spider with a little red spot on its butt ends up in spider heaven,
even if it is outside minding its own business)

I am the person who cried in an episode of "Walking with Dinosaurs"
(OK I was all types of pregnancy-hormonal at the time)

Get the idea?

I saw my fair share of horror stories during my veterinary years as I did a lot of RSPCA case reports.

I know what "the food chain" is.

I know what "survival of the fittest" means.


So when I watch a migration documentary,
where some hoofed mammals need to cross the crocodile infested river
as part of their journey,
I know what is coming even before the narrator says
"The hungry and waiting crocodiles know instinctively which members of the herd
are those that they should target"

Yes, the crocodiles
(Which also need to eat to survive. I get that)
are picking off the littlies.

But, in case, you missed it the first time,
let's show you another example.

And another.

And here's one close up.

And here's one in slow-mo.

Oh, and just in case you need more,
let's show the croc pulling back one that thought it had made it safely to the other side to its mum.

Really- I got it the first time.

I don't care if it is Sir Richard Attenborough narrating.
I don't care if this is "never-before-seen" footage
that took 6 and 1/2 years and 5 million dollars to capture on film.
I don't care if this is the harsh realities of life.
My kids certainly aren't ready for such a brutal version of real life yet.
It is hard enough explaining exactly what happened to Nemo's mum and gazillion siblings
or to Bambi's mother
or to Charlotte
without causing distress.


Give me a Disney happy ending any day.


Tin Can Daisy said...

I am SO with you. I know the realities of life and death in the wild but I don't need it glorified in gory detail either. I feel for the animal Mums and the inncocent littlies far too much. So I guess I'll join you in your wussiness :)

PS... my spiders are my 'girls'. They eat the mossies and flies and I need all the help I can get there. Sometimes I have to clean up the webs when they get a bit carried away but I always apologise when i do that.

Posie Patchwork said...

You are a vet with a heart of gold, what humans do to animals (RSPCA) would have been the worst kind of activity to witness imaginable. I saw this too & when Sir said "they crocodiles know where to wait" as they've done this for-like-ever (not Sir's words) i thoguht, you crocodiles are just bastards!!

Posie Patchwork said...

Oh my comment saved before i had finished with what i thought of crocodiles, sorry!! Love Posie