The Modern Friendship

Redefining my definitions.

Three years ago I started sewing again

after a near 20 year hiatus during which I studied, worked, did a few naughty things, travelled and the like.

Two and a half years ago I discovered an on-line sewing shop...

then its forum...

then the world of blogging.

I do have some real life friends.

I really do.

A couple of long term, close ones

and few others who are always a comfortable fit but more distant.

But what about this whole other on-line life that I have?

I have been an active member of the Crafty Mamas forum

for two and a half years.

It is an amazing place.

So many women.

Mostly mothers.

So diverse in age, backgrounds and day to day lives.

Yet similarly driven to create.

And above all accepting, supportive and helpful.

There is no judgement,

no hostility, 

no place for school yard bitchiness or arrogance.

Regardless of whether we are discussing the latest boutique pattern,

bottle versus breast

or the likelyhood that little green men are going to come and take us away.

Yet up until recently my turn of phrase was

"one of the girls on the forum that I hang around on said..."

or

"a mum on this sewing forum I know did..."

I couldn't quite come at using the word "friend".

Why?

Because even though we have shared stories,

laughed together,

given each other shoulders when needed,

encouraged to create,

helped out

and are in touch 7 days per week,

most of us haven't physically met

or even spoken to each other in real life.

I talk to this sisterhood more frequently than my fresh and blood friends.

As time goes on, more of us are meeting up in the flesh

and the bond that we feel from our on-line interaction makes such catch ups very comfortable.

Yesterday I got an unexpected envelope in the post.

Tracy over at the Mad Quilter

knew from the forum chats that I was struggling with an ongoing lurgy.

She is currently holding the fort at home while her hubby is away for work.

She has 7 children, the youngest only a few months old.

Yet she still found the time for a Random Act of Kindness.

She sent me a get well card and some crochet goodies.

Unexpected and heartwarming.

In the past few months,

after sharing the supprt and generosity of these women,

I do now talk about my "friends'",

even though there are a fair few of them that I would not be able to pick out of a line up.

I am also feeling the same way about my blog followers who drop by,
read a bit,
then take the time to comment.
There is a level of understanding and comraderie
not based on anything material.

The power of the Internet can indeed be used for evil

but it can also be used for the very, very good

and can make the world an incredibly small and comforting place.