Monday, September 12, 2011

Bite the hand that doesn't feed enough.

Little Boozle 2011

Yeah, cute, right?

Now picture this:

You walk into your vet clinic, lugging your cat carrier cage along beside you.

In the consultation room,
you smile brightly if not a little nervously at Dr Tas
as you heave your heavily overweight moggy up onto the table for his annual checkup.

Dr Tas smiles back,
proceeding to check over Fluffy and gently insert the words "calorie control"
into conversation without appearing condescending.
She goes on to explain that cats shouldn't be fed ad-lib,
that most cats will eat more than they need if they are left with food access 24/7,
that cats only need a really small amount of food each day,
that you need to be strong and know that you are doing the right thing by restricting their calories,
that your cat isn't starving,
that he might annoy you a little but just. ignore. him.

Dr Tas now understands why people looked at her as if she was a patronising git
and might have mumbled something about "easier said than done",
"you can't be serious"
or even "are you on drugs, lady?"
(plus many more, less polite comments)

Little Boozle 2011

Mr Boozle and I have had a conversation that I didn't think 2 pet-owning vets would ever have.
The one that goes:
Do you think we should just give in and knowingly over-feed them
and put up with them being fat
as long as they just stop being so friggin' manic about eating everything/anything?

Little Boozle 2011

The cats will stalk across the table to try and pinch the kids' meals from their plates if left unchecked.
They will run off with and chew kitchen sponges and scourers (yes, metallic scourers).

Little Boozle 2011

They will grab anything in plastic, make a run for it
then see if its contents are edible.

Little Boozle 2011

(For the record...
Crumpets are.
Bread rolls are.
Mince is.
Weetbix are.
Cheesymite scrolls are.
Easter eggs are.
Yoghurt mix isn't.)
They will eat raw zucchini.

They will shove their head into a bowl of flour just in case
there is something in there to eat.

They will nick lollies out of a handbag.

They have nearly been through a dishwashing cycle
more than once.

There are bite marks in the lump of blue tack on my desk.

They will chew up anything made of paper and cardboard.

Little Boozle 2011

(That has got to hurt. That is tough plastic)
They will chew off 16th wedding anniversary long stemmed red roses.

Little Boozle 2011

(At this point we nearly went from being a
3 child-2 cat-1 dog household
to a
3 child-2 goldfish-1 dog household...
and ask me how much I dislike fish as pets)

They are indoor cats
so at least we know that the local wildlife is being protected
even if our sanity isn't.

Little Boozle 2011

We are working on a cat enclosure down the side of the house
and then I hope some peace and order may return.
Pets are meant to be relaxing,
to lower your blood pressure,
to give you pleasure and enjoyment.

Little Boozle 2011

We are stressed, on alert and slightly nervous...
Little Boozle 2011

...Does anyone remember Razorback?


Liz said...


That last photo is kind of unnerving though :p Now I know why I am a dog person.

willow and moo said...

LOL I'm with Liz!

Your cats are crazy. I can't believe the stuff that they've done. And they live in the house of two vets. What hope would I have??!?!?

Tania said...

That last pic is scary. But the raw zucchini is scarier.

Ummy said...

Purrfectly normal behaviour for two well-loved and happy cats. I had a cat that would ignore the plate of chicken and go straight for the chocolate cake.

Tracy aka Mad Quilter said...

Oh dear! They are scary

bec said...

Hilarious! Mine only eats the cat food, but will nag up to 100 times a day. She went on the diet food for 6 mths then starting attcking me all thi time- so yes, a fat happy cat is always a better option! Very cute last picture!

Love a Duck! ( Partito y Monito) said...

Jesus! I thought I was hard done by with mine waking me at 5.30am to go outside! I hearby vow to hush my mouth and stop whinging about her and bow low to the twin forces of feline evil that inhabit your home!

Lesley said...

Okay your cats are scary. Ours love cake, apparently blueberry sour cream. They will knock the food container off and onto the floor, to scoff themselves silly. We are those good owners that limit their food intake, though you would think by e mournful cries that we are starving them.

I do love cats but this latest generation is strange, give me my old fashioned lay in my lap gentle moggie that we had BC

H said...

I am smug in my catlessness right now ;)

Kylie said...

The kids would love nothing more than a cat - trying to talk Baden into a bird - not working although he told me today he would like chickens (but with a Springer Spaniel I dont think they will lay)