Bite the hand that doesn't feed enough.



Yeah, cute, right?

Now picture this:

You walk into your vet clinic

carrying...no, lugging your cat carrier cage along beside you.

In the consultation room,

you smile brightly if not a little nervously at Dr Tas

as you heave your heavily overweight moggy up onto the table for his annual checkup.

Dr Tas smiles back,

proceeding to check over Fluffy and gently insert the words "calorie control"

into conversation without appearing condescending.

She goes on to explain that cats shouldn't be fed ad-lib,

that most cats will eat more than they need if they are left with food access 24/7,

that cats only need a really small amount of food each day,

that you need to be strong and know that you are doing the right thing by restricting their calories,

that your cat isn't starving,

that he might annoy you a little but just. ignore. him.

Dr Tas now understands why people looked at her as if she was a patronising git

and might have mumbled something about "easier said than done",
"you can't be serious"
or even "are you on drugs, lady?"
(plus many more, less polite comments)

Mr Boozle and I have had a conversation that I didn't think 2 pet-owning vets would ever have.

The one that goes:

Do you think we should just give in and knowingly over-feed them

and put up with them being fat

as long as they just stop being so friggin' manic about eating everything/anything?

The cats will stalk across the table to try and pinch the kids' meals from their plates if left unchecked.

They will run off with and chew kitchen sponges and scourers (yes, metallic scourers).

They will grab anything in plastic, make a run for it

then see if its contents are edible.

(For the record...
Crumpets are.

Bread rolls are.
Mince is.
Weetbix are.
Cheesymite scrolls are.
Easter eggs are.

Yoghurt mix isn't.)

They will eat raw zucchini.

They will shove their head into a bowl of flour just in case
there is something in there to eat.

They will nick lollies out of a handbag.

They have nearly been through a dishwashing cycle
more than once.

There are bite marks in the lump of blue tack on my desk.

They will chew up anything made of paper and cardboard.



(That has got to hurt. That is tough plastic)

They will chew off 16th wedding anniversary long stemmed red roses.

(At this point we nearly went from being a
3 child-2 cat-1 dog household
to a
3 child-2 goldfish-1 dog household...
and ask me how much I dislike fish as pets)

They are indoor cats

so at least we know that the local wildlife is being protected

even if our sanity isn't.

We are working on a cat enclosure down the side of the house

and then I hope some peace and order may return.

Pets are meant to be relaxing,

to lower your blood pressure,

to give you pleasure and enjoyment.

We are stressed, on alert and slightly nervous...

...Does anyone remember Razorback?