Rose-coloured glasses and self-perception and abdominal crunches

A harsh lesson in reality


(Zumba Fitness DVD cover)

Like the happy snap? That's me and a few mates. That's me on the left. The toned, pert, perky brunette with the 6 pack.

OK So that's not me. But it could be me. Couldn't it? I mean, for 3 months now, I have lunged and gyrated my hips and jungle pumped and crunched my abdominal muscles with those girls on pretty much a daily basis. Zumba baby? Yeah!

I discovered Zumba (essentially funky jazzercise to exotic music- think Samba, Salsa and Calypso) about 3 months ago. Seemed worth a try. Dvd based so I could do it in my own home, in my own time and, most importantly, behind closed curtains.

I should take a minute to explain that I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I graduated Uni overweight and lost 26 kg and in spite of a few blips, have done OK until I started child bearing. My weight increased with each pregnancy and my resolve and time to exercise decreased with each baby. I made a resolution that I had to get fit and healthy once I had finished having children- for their future and my own. But this year my last baby was suddenly past 2 years and I was not losing any weight. I have no aspiration to be a skinny minny. I love terms like "curvy" and "rubenesque" but at the moment I am just, well, fat.

But my inner self is thin. I shimmy and booty circle daily and am thinking I am pretty darn cool; after all, the people on the video are cool. But then they are younger, fitter and slimmer (and not to forget wearing THE coolest exercise clothing available) And I truly believe that my hips were not created equal to theirs. Even if I lose those 20 kg, my hips aren't EVER going to be able to do THAT.

In reality, I am an overweight, nearly middle-aged mum wearing daggy tracky daks and an oversized tee and red faced and puffing and unco-ordinated and sweating and...well, you get the picture. But I don't. That's the point. If I was in a gym class in front of a full length mirror, I'd see it too.

When I do see myself in the mirror or my reflection in a window, I do a double take because that hefty person is me. My spiritual being is thin but my earthly body is most definately not.

Yet on a daily basis I am aware that I am overweight. I can see my feet but there is a big tummy to view on the way past.

I wonder what I else I perceive about myself that other people who know me would disagree with. I probably don't want to know.

Anyhow, I will keep meeting up with my mates every day because I know that somewhere, under my love handles, I am toning up my abs and more importantly, getting healthier.

And, who knows, one day maybe a 6 pack will just appear out of nowhere. But I do accept that a pert bosom is way beyond reality at this point in my post-breast feeding life.

Oh and by the way that gorgeous lady on the right is apparently a mum to 4. There is hope for me yet...Then again, her previous career was as a professional dancer....OK, I'm screwed.